I am done my book. I finished writing everything that I started more than six weeks ago. I have covered the ENTIRE history of chocolate from the Meso-Americans in 1000 BC all the way to present-day; I have talked about sex & chocolate, chocolate and health, I have unearthed every quirky, nutty, crazy, bizarre, weird story, and did-you-know factoid known to man; I have circumvented the globe in my “Around the World in 80 Chocolates’ chapter. I have covered traditions and tales from many different countries. How many you ask? Eighty. I have talked about the World’s Chocolatiers, the history of Italian chocolate makers, Ghiradelli, Hershey, Callebaut, Lindt, Mars, Cadbury, Fry and Rowntree…I have talked about M&Ms, Baker’s chocolate, Nestle, the Ganongs, Whitmans, Russell Stover, Ferrero, Tobler and Suchard…
I have written about all the unusual things people pair with chocolate, chocolate bacon, chocolate insects, sauerkraut and chocolate, chocolate beer, frozen beer on a stick, clothes made of chocolate, bizarre American food holidays, trivia and facts, chocolate butterflies, plants…chocolate cartels…the cocoa slave trade, cocoa boycotts, cocoa tree diseases.
I have chocolate jokes and chocolate quotes.
I have chocolate definitions and classification, chocolate tasting, what to drink with chocolate, different types of chocolate and the steps of cocoa harvest and production. Then I have a section called “A year in the pursuit of chocolate”. All the different things you can do—museums, chocolate festivals, factories, chocolate train rides. I have readers gallivanting from Canada and New York to Grenada, Belize, Switzerland, Italy, Belgium and Australia.
And then. I have twelve motherfucking chocolate recipes.
I. am. done. The only problem with that is that I am only at 37 076 words. My contract is for 45,000. So I have to come up with another eight THOUSAND words. I spent most of the day on the Internet yesterday and I. got. nothin’. I am completely tapped out. I scraped together about 500 words or so, but everything I’ve come across, I’ve already talked about. Eight thousand words seems like an insurmountable amount right now. What the fuck am I going to talk about for eight thousand words?! And worse, I’ve only got three days to finish it all up. I was enrolled in a weekend fitness course as a reward to myself for finishing the book. Going to have to give it up. I am bitter about it.
C, I may have to take you up on your suggestion: Maybe for the next 8,000 words, I can talk about how people really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really like chocolate…
Conversely, some people really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really DON’T like chocolate.
I am freaking out. I am exhausted, angry and bitter. I want to be done. I know I am close, but it feels like I am sooooooo, soooooo FAR AWAY. What I’m going to write about is beyond me, but I am open to suggestions.